Techmanology. Sometimes it's just soooo wearying. You can never get away fae people nowadays; constantly on the end of the line, just wanting to talk, just reminding you about this and that, just checking you're still coming, you're still remembering, you're still getting that thing they asked you to get them. Oh, and another thing they've just remembered they forgot to tell you.This poor guy in the household aisle in Home Bargains is stuck on the mobile. I'm perusing the mops and buckets, cleaning cloths and dishtowels and gradually his dejected voice enters my consciousness and eventually I turn round and note his bowed head, hands hanging down, feeble knees. The one sided conversation goes, "Aye, Ah said, in Home Bargains . . Ah'm tryin to hurry up. Uh-huh . . ok Ah will. If you go off the phone Ah'll hurry quicker."I make my selection and walk briskly round to the stationery aisle to look for inkies. Hmm, he's wandered round here too from the other end.
"Ah don't see it . . . Ah do know what you're talking about but there's nothing like it here. Look, Ah'm here and Ah'm lookin and there's none of them here." He sighs deeply. I actually take a moment to stare at him and feel a bit of annoyance well up - but wait, is it really his fault. Just a victim of the moby.
"Ok, Ah'll try the printers on Govan Road. No, Ah told you Ah hadnae been there yet . . . ok ok. Ah'm goin there now. Ah did tell you. Look, you hang up and I'll be back a lot quicker. Right, ok then, just hang up. . . What?" Exasperation sets in. Voice is raised. "Do you want me to go for that before the printers or later on?"
Man alive. I am outta here.